Cooker

Today is the day I am supposed to get delivery of my cooker. I won this cooker through auction at Comet Clearance.

Now I say supposed to because barely a month ago, I also won a cooker through them, and when the delivery day came, they told me the cooker had gone missing. So you can understand my lack of belief it will actually turn up this time.
Personally I am not sure how you lose a cooker, it isn't exactly as if it is a small thing, it is a fair size, to my knowledge it isn't sentient, it doesn't have feelings and go "I don't want to be a cooker, I want to be a fridge" and it wasn't just mine they lost, they lost the whole batch of appliances, cookers and more. So unless they found them, it seems we have rogue appliances roaming the UK, on the hide out, probably growing beards to disguise themselves and escape capture.

I will be very glad to get mine when it comes, and then finally have it fitted, as the one that came with my house when I moved in, has become a death trap, it isn't a good thing to make food with and it sure makes too many noises for my liking and it is at the end of its life, so I will be glad to see the back of it.